bangays:

what if instead of saying nip slip we said nipple slipple


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dyselxia:

when you flawlessly execute an insult

image


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bravedad:

i wonder how many people i’m in the “i’d be down if you asked” zone with


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annaolphant:

id hit up barnes and noble during the purge


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malefactum:

Anything can be a pirate ship if you close your eyes and imagine it’s a pirate ship


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  • me: haha hey guys do u dare me to eat this whole thing of ice cream
  • them: no
  • me: *shaking my head and chuckling* i cant believe you guys are making me do this
  • them: we're not
  • me: *eating right out of the thing* this is so wild you guys you're so fucked up for making me do this
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shorttfuse:

THIS IS MAKING ME REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE
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sorry:

 I wonder if cops ever get annoyed at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.  


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